Random Restlessness

At times you feel scared that why and how everything is fine and at times you are scared because you have a reason to be scared about.

In either of the cases, despite of everything being fine in routine there is a slight restlessness. Because either things are fine but there is something that’s worrisome which can’t be solved today or you are used to problems and troubles and your brain is trained to see life that way. So you tend to find issues even during good or say routine phases of life. Conclusion: You aren’t calm. You are happy but not that satisfied and full full happy happy.

There are situations when you are very happy and confident of fact that you are having a good phase and you are enjoying it without worrying and speculating. But suddenly there is a restlessness. And then that restlessness reminds you of many problems that do exist but weren’t as important or grave a minute before the restlessness. You also tend to think if the good times are temporary or you dumb and gambling with life by not taking the issues seriously and ignoring it while enjoying life.

So basically, the mind is dumb. Think whatever, the present doesn’t change and you can’t improve the past and you definitely can’t do anything about the future by worrying. So let’s just be conscious and not ignore the problem(s) but not miss out on present because of the restlessness that your habit or your speculations about future give you.  Be prepared Be strong

P.S Wish that was easy to do :p


Random Self assessment

Sitting on stairs, after a light brawl on just a prevailing issue, i realise another prevailing thought popping up into my mind, how weird am I to cope up with.
At times we r weird for our ownselves. I don’t know if I am the only one doing this but I have hardly seen much of my kind mindset n behavior when it comes to socializing.
Once i start realising the bad face of people or group of people or certain behaviour, I start ignoring, stop interacting.. more so because I find it hard to find manipulative ways to tackle with such mindset or I don’t  find it worth pondering. I think n act straight and transparent. I don’t find such things worth applying strategies n my brain over.. but if that is how it has to be, I will have to learn which I M trying to but hasn’t been easy. I think I am lost in thoughts n expressing randomly.
Basically just wondering if I am shooing away basic social life (basic= normal people not too interfering and interested  in others life just for the heck of it, people talking castes and religion in name of society etc) or so called friends by ignoring or I am right so n I need to explore for better mindsets rather is there a scope of finding such people or do I even need to care about it.

Status: oozing thoughts.

(Walking back from corridor  stairs to my office now)

Rains 2012

My city has been waiting for it to rain eagerly and all the frustration with the cloudy hide n seek since some days ended day before. But till it did, it was late night and most of the people atleast the disciplined and “good” ones retire to their beds before that.

Well I am a nocturnal beast. I don’t sleep unless I am reminded of the pain getting up in the morning for office and thankfully, this amazing job is Karn’s responsibility..more amazing bcz it is Him doing it (he is the king of the beasts I just mentioned) but with time as things change, our habits and requirements do, so did his.. And so begins his constant requests aka warning on whatsapp and texts and all kinds of emoticons and blackmail by 11.15..  Ya… I know.. lucky me… But more on that later…

Right now it is all about the rain that night.. It rained heavily. Well I am not a big fan of Rains.. I hated them during school bcz the Game periods got cancelled. I hated them when I grew up bcz other vehicles would spray paint dirt on you while you are on two wheeler.. I hated them when other girls were awwwwwwwwwwwwww about rains as if rest of the seasons were so unromantic for them (ya I don’t go  gaga about the Rain=Romantic funda).. I hated them for screwing the traffic when I drove back home…. Rains also have also been scary for me.. I have no clue why.. but it has been especially untimely rain..

So when it rained heavily this night I as usual had mixed feelings.. could feel d same old thump in heart for the weird unknown fear.. oh rains!! And also Oh the messy Rains and then aah rains..(bye to summers).

But then I went out to my gallery (despite of the last warning from Karn to sleep) and stood there enjoying cool breeze and the rain and noticed people thronging to their galleries that late to feel or witness the rain.. There was no over rejoicement like dancing, shouting hooting like many people do (no offence).. It was just people in their home quietly acknowledging rains.. Someone standing alone, someone with his dogs, someone with his wife someone with their kids..but I could sense one common thing..a solace…. just peace in noise just that of heavy rains.

And rains made me feel good.. Just too good.. I wish the king beast actually stood there to shout and call me inside.. which he did via texts though :p

But I am happy about rains this time 🙂 … Rains 2012!!

I begin

Well, like many others of my breed (the lazy or the confused ones), I am yet another where I have been wanting to write a blog since don’t know when.. but always felt that there should be something that I strongly feel about that compels me to write or put it into a blog.. Yea I did write many a times to let it rest in my mail drafts bcz most of things I as a person felt about has been either too personal that I will definitely regret blogging out after the sentimental turbulence dies or it is too controversial in social reference… 

Thanks to Schemer (ya all other things failed in making me reach here to write), I finally decided to increase my “I’ve already done” list comparing it to the “I want to” list n the easiest and oldest pending to do was write a blog.. 

So here it is.. I decided why not just write.. even if it is not appealing or forcing me to write.. Just to express and say common and momentary things in  a day.. which is and will be difficult for a moody person of my kind.. who also prefers keeping a line of difference between just expressing and over expressing about things and always ends up in crossing that line 

So let’s see..what this new activity brings along..